The 5 ‘Miss’es in every man’s life!

THE FIRST CRUSH – Just as you walk into the class first day, she is sitting on the very first bench. The one you saw entering the gate & followed hoping for a longer glimpse, just to be greeted with a pleasant surprise that she is in your class. Simple smile, dimple cheeked, glowing eyes, curly hair. The seat next to her is vacant & you just don’t gather enough courage to sit next to her. Then on, you always sit somewhere on the back benches admiring her, hoping some day she speaks to you. Not for the class work, but as the monitor who checks the home work. The day she does eventually walk up, you get to know she came to meet the guy sitting next to you, her best friend.

THE NEIGHBOUR NEXT DOOR – The cute little daughter of your neighbours who plays badminton with friends the very same time to you play cricket with friends. That “hi”, a shy smile & wave of the hand when you accidentally meet in the lift always leaving you with a feeling, could have spoken a little longer. Couldn’t the lift have stopped working for a short while? Which School is she in? What time? Is May be same route? What subjects? Ahh, can I borrow a book from her? Not a bad idea. You don’t see her for a while & the day you finally made up your mind to ask for the book, you get to know the neighbours just shifted.

SISTER’S BEST PAL – She comes one day to study with your sister, only to sweep you off your studies. She is mature, energetic, bubbly, sharp & witty. As exams near in, she stays back to cover up the syllabus & clear her doubts with your sister. You wait for the vacations; she comes & prepares your most favorite dish as her friend’s darling brother & you catch up for a one-off movie with your sister in between, hoping it was just the 2 of you. The next year, you find out your sister has a new friend who isn’t that great. “Didi – where is …….?” is the last you spoke about her only to find that she & your sister went to different classes this year due to different grades.

FAVOURITE TEACHER – She is your favorite teacher, just because you are her favorite student. She thinks you are intelligent & with some efforts can make good grades & have a great future though no other teacher feels so. She guides you in studies & encourages you for extra-curricular activities for holistic development. You devote extra study time for her subject, just for her – else who the hell would be interested in Geography. She is the one who is all over the moon when you are the top scorer & doesn’t punish you but rather takes you to her room, explains why you shouldn’t have done it & let’s you go with a kiss! The next day, she suddenly looks gorgeous; as though she never looked that way. Oh no, this one never left you. In fact you were the one who left school & meet her when you visit school as an alumni & reminiscence the good old days. Anyways, it was a shore you could have never reached

FIRST LOVE – Divine intervention! Just what god ordered to move your never happening, non-glittery life. She sparkles it as if all festivities came together. She is the most beautiful girl in the world. Her walk makes your heart skip a beat, her look just about perfect as you dreamt & when she let’s her hair loose man you stumble all over. When you start spending most of your time in front of the mirror in the house, fashion suddenly becomes the in-thing & you begin thinking hairstyles kind of improved face value. When Dad’s perfume & the expensive jeans you did not buy last year when mom wanted to present it to you for a Diwali gift suddenly become prized possessions. You correct the previous mistakes & quickly get introduced to her. You get to know her well & ask her out. That first date, the movie with pop corn, followed with Ice-cream & a long walk to drop her before you headed home. One night as you try sleeping you realize, its love – This really is! You discuss topics ranging from Education to Politics, Cricket to Bollywood, People & Relationships & about Careers/Life!

Just as you propose to her she says “I never thought of you like that, we are just friends” or “Love is one thing & marriage is other” or “Thoughts & Feelings are fine, but Life together is serious business” or “Careers are important & we are still too young” or “We are compatible, but families may not be”You may have missed any or all of them! But the best is the one you will have in your life! The one because of whom you can remember, smile & say – so kiddish of me!

Say it; before it’s too late to!

The last 6 months had been really painful; it was getting tougher to live by the day. My body had started deteriorating. I had lost strength. Reaction times were slowing down. The mind too seemed to have given up. The end seemed inevitable & evident. The heart still beat, probably a lot more now.

It had been 12 long years since we had known each other. Most of our exchanges had been on mails, chats or sms. We had hardly met, may be just twice or thrice & I rued that fact. But I knew for sure, she was the girl. The one for whom my heart pulsated. I had relayed that feeling to her, sometimes subtly through expressions & sometimes verbally or through actions. She knew it & she felt it, just that she wasn’t acknowledging it. She liked me too, but had never said the 3 word sentence every guy would like to hear from his girl. I now had begun to realize the power of “I Love You” & wished the world understood it too.

I didn’t dare to tell her about my recurring illness, but silently hoped she was around in my last few days. The news did break to her & she eventually came. If death was the only thing that could have got me so close to her, I wished it had come earlier. Those last 8 days of my life were the ones I truly lived. With her along my bed side, no end could have been better. People say love is about being together all your life, but for me it wasn’t possible. Did that mean I didn’t love her? Well at least that was not what those few days & moments suggested.

I was still waiting to hear her say “I Love You” She didn’t. But she said something I thought was an even better tribute to my life “I didn’t believe love ever exists, but thanks to you I now do!” That was the last, but the best. May be I deserved a breath more to feel the world around after she said that. But what if it had been one breathe lesser?

I may have had that last breath to hear, but you never know it may be too late for someone else waiting to hear from you. Say “I Love you” to all your loved ones, before it is too late to!

Leadership.....

It’s not just about Words; it’s about deeds too!
It’s not just about Sales pitch & Success stories; it’s about reality & solutions too!
It’s not just about strategies & game plans; it’s about execution & implementation too!
It’s not just about envisioning a dream & achieving it; it’s about helping the executionists overcome every problem in the path of achieving it too!
It’s not just about Revenues & Profits; it’s about progress & development too!
It’s not just about business; it’s about having a human touch too!
It’s not just about logic; it’s about creativity too!
It’s not just about transactions; it’s about transformations too!
It’s not just about adapting & acclimatizing to the system; it’s about changing it for the better too!
It’s not just about running over the same experiences all years through; it’s about creating new experiences all day too!
It’s not just about data, facts & interpretations; it’s about instincts & intuitions too!
It’s not just about having people do things for you; it’s about going solo if needed too!
It’s not just about delegating tasks to people; it’s about encouraging them to grow & take additional responsibilities too!
It’s not just about your authority & power; it’s about your team’s empowerment too!
It’s not just running the show with the best team member; it’s about strengthening your weakest link too!
It’s not just about creating star individual performers; it’s about building great teams too!
It’s not just about failing & finding someone to blame; it’s about standing up, accepting & covering up the team too!
It’s not just about winning & taking accolades; it’s about quietly walking off & allowing the team to take centre stage too!
It’s not just about how the team performs under you; it’s about how they play under you successor too!
It’s not just about creating living legends; it’s about leaving behind legacies too!

Let’s make a difference rather than just celebrate!

As we circulated SMSs & watched news channels laud the efforts of the martyrs of the Mumbai terror attack, the heart couldn’t avoid but reach the one thought the brain processed. The message “Each one of us has a duty towards our motherland” & not just celebrate Republic Day or Independence Day without any concrete actions towards the betterment of the nation.

It is easier said than done, that’s why legends are born amidst crises which common men fail to accept. We all may certainly not be equipped to fight terrorism or dawn the Indian army uniform to protect the borders, but we are gifted by god in various facets, all of which can contribute to a better & greater India tomorrow.

Just as every passing year, we think of our family, careers, learning & lives as an individual, we ought to think of the progress, growth & development of our nation. We ought to. It is as much a responsibility as the privilege to enjoy living in a safe & secure India. We may or may not make the difference ultimately, but we definitely cannot avoid making an effort to.

We blame the selfishness of the politicians, the bureaucracy of the govt, the outdated education system, the bad roads & their sustainability during the rains, the current market trends, the falling rupee, the economic recession, the safety & security of the coming generations. Each problem has a cause, which allows us to crib on it for long times & create excuses, but more importantly the very same problem provides a solution – our approach alone determines if we ever find it. This is where legends are born. We either continue to vent our feelings entire life or stand up & get it changed forever.

We all have over a period of time gained some skills, knowledge & competencies which can make a huge difference to the way India shapes tomorrow. People with business acumen, technological geeks, the scientists, the researchers, the psychologists & the common man all of us can make the smallest & simplest difference to build the India we imagined.

If we as a combined group cannot make a difference at the national level, let’s start with villages & districts. Ensure food, clothing & homes for poor, Vaccination & Immunization for all, education for the needy, basic roads & infrastructure for villages, water & electricity supply at all times. This is the least we can contribute to but in the long run would make a huge difference.

Let’s pledge on this Day, every coming Independence Day & Republic Day we would see a better India, our state, the village we were born in, the district we grew up in. Even if we all make that 1% difference cumulatively we shall ensure a multifold growth for the coming generations to see.

Let’s think of the all the options where we as individuals or groups can contribute, explore the ones which can be acted upon & implement the best one to make that little difference to our motherland to whom we shall remain indebted forever. Remember, a country is as good as the citizens who live in it! The choice is ours, so is the country!

- Ashish Dabholkar

My Quotes!

1. Character signifies Man - Autographs are just paper versions of egos!

2. The tinge of red, which makes yellow go orange is - Love!

3. Live, Life, Love & Like have so similar spellings & pronunciation, I often mistake them to be synonyms!

4. Winning in Life is our obsession, but we have an even greater responsibility to make a difference to the people we meet on the way!

5. "Combating terrorism is not my job" is like saying "India is not my country"

6. Relationships how so ever sour they may be are still more precious than egos!

7. Greatness is in the thoughts, not the age or the experience!

8. In Life, there are no mistakes or Failures! Just good Experiences!

9. Life is all about sharing love & spreading happiness! That’s All I want to do!

10. I am sure at least 1 person would trade his or her life for being you;
If you look at your life in that way & live it that way!

11. In life, it’s important to know - Not what you want to win;
But what you definitely don't want to lose!

12. Love is when you see the same person, every time you blink; No matter the place or the time!

13. That you don’t express does not mean you don’t feel;
That you don’t ask doesn’t mean you don’t need!

14. Some people are like Injections! They get under your skin, only to ensure you become a stronger person!

15. Don’t just count on the wins & losses in Life;U may just miss out on living in the bargain!

16. Leadership is when you play the catalyst & the support at the same time!

17. When you lose something you love most, your understand life better!

18. Revolutions begin with one step, one person;
The only question is do you have the courage to take that step, be that person!

19. Always play your card even if it is not an ace!

20. You don’t need to question others; you just question yourself to find the answers!

21. Results may not go as per expectations, Efforts may fall short for some reasons; But lack of intent is unpardonable!

22. Fairy tale stories are easy to tell, but the ones we never forget are those without happy endings!

23. Life may undo 100 good things you do with one mistake, but people will always remember you for the 100 good things you did!

24. Losing in Love is much easier than Loosing Love!

25. Question the beliefs, Push the Limits, Experiment, Fail, Realize, Get up & have a go at it again to succeed; Therein lies the growth, Learning & everything that is you!

26. Neither can a job stop us from doing what we want to in our life!
Nor a career can stop us from being that person we have always dreamt to be!

27. I was never short of ideas, Implementing them was the only issue!

28. Love is the only thing that every human being craves for;
Why do love marriages become conditional then?

29. All of us are busy running ahead of others; In reality, all we need to do is just run on the track we choose our lives to be! No matter the pace or the position at which we run!

30. If you take a plunge, knowing well you may fail & give it your best shot;
you almost always come up with remarkable results!

31. The Only equity which gives you infinite ROR irrespective of the market conditions is “Learning”

32. Learn to find jobs; But more importantly find jobs which help you learn!

33. Life may beat me a 100 times, but it definitely cannot deter me from living!

34. Life isn't what happens to us, It is what we make happen for others during our course of living!

35. Life - It’s not about living yours, it’s about enriching others’!

36. Beauty is not always in the looks, it’s in the thoughts too!

37. Life's most defining Moments are when you have taken risks.
You may have failed or succeeded, but you are never the same person again!

38. Life is about finding that one thing we believe in & standing up for it!

39. A Happy Life is much more than just a satisfying job & q successful career!

40. Love & heal people, don’t hurt & hate them!

41. Glory isn’t lost in defeat; it is lost in not accepting it!

42. Education & Experiences are so interesting;
One teaches what we ought to do & the other just what we ought not!

43. Recession is our best opportunity to re-align our careers & re-assess our lives!

44. Circumstances can change our views or opinions, not our values & character!

45. “Our Life is an exact depiction of the inspiration we have lived with & the efforts we have put in”

46. Hope for the best, But be prepared for the worst!

47. Play always to win, But learn to lose sportingly too!

48. Knowing your personality well is the key to happy and successful life!

49. Character is the root of a tree “You”, personality & appearances just form the leaves & flowers!

50. Life isn’t complicated!, We human beings are!

51. Glasses & humans both are fragile, the only difference is in the variance!

52. I hate losing; but I hate hurting people more!

53. People who live with anxiety & purpose are always young irrespective of the age!

54. Captaincy is all about standing amidst ruins; during good times even the crew manages!

55. In love, u don’t necessarily have to talk about each other! Just with each other!

56. Relationships don't change; Our feelings for each other do!

57. What you lose often; you value most!

58. U ought not to hate someone, just because the other person ceases to love you!

59. When you fail don’t defend or justify; just don’t!

60. There is nothing called as “hatred”
It’s just the absence of love which we failed to put into the relationship!

61. The biggest crime is not telling a person how much he/she is loved especially when he/she misses it the most.

62. Illustrious Careers don’t necessarily make impressive lives!

63. Common Man accepts things, Smart men explore new ideas, great people discover untrodden horizons, legends achieve them!

64. Try, but not too hard, it could be costlier than not trying at all, sometimes!

65. In life, just like cars, you ought to break & accelerate at the right situations!

66. Throwing tantrums when assigned unchallenging & monotonous work is the hall mark of a good employee who has high brand value of himself/herself!

67. Problems have solutions - unfortunately we just don’t stop cribbing when all we need to do is action them!

68. Doing good for people does not necessarily mean being nice to them!

69. A book is a better companion compared to people;
People are so conditional, books equally unconditional!

70. People are bound not by circumstances; But by their perceptions & beliefs!

71. Sometimes the best turn in life is a "U" turn!

72. Every human being has great potential;
Only a few are smart & intelligent enough to convert it into a meaningful life!

73. I would not stop doing good things because of bad people; That has always been my logic!

74. Unhappiness, jealousy & anger creep from not knowing ourselves & our purpose - not by external circumstances!

75. If you can't cut the thorns, be prepared to have them in your flesh!

76. Ideas are successful - Based on the passion of those who implement them!

77. If by losing a game, I can win a heart, I am ready to lose 1000 games!

78. Being Loved By Others is God's Gift to U;
Loving Others Equally & Unconditionally is your gift to God!

79. Not speaking your heart out can always give the feeling of not having revealed your true emotions to the world, But speaking could mean allowing yourself & your heart to explore the unidentified pastures, some of which could be amazing breeding grounds for the future - so let your thoughts out!

80. Unconditional Love? Perplexes Me;
Doesn’t the word “Love” have unconditional embedded in it?

81. Help! Not because you want to; But because somebody needs you to!

82. God is a CEO, who runs a company called "Universe" & he created people with specific roles/responsibilities & well defined Life paths aligned to our Natural Talents, Interests & Passion! The concern is people don’t tread that path & end up loosing the way & questioning God!

83. Champion sides prepare to win from the worst situations. They rely more on collective effort than Individual brilliance!

84. Championships are not won by teams with stronger skills or talents but with teams that have a stronger faith, belief & deeper desire to win!

85. Love is an emotion not a relation! Period!

86. Comfort Zones - Create the comfort first & then a zone you can never leave all your life!

87. If it is got to be - it has to be with or without!

88. Hiring on pure skills & talents is like saying yes to a girl just on her looks!

89. If you are able to meet all the expectations of your manager, be sure of a promotion & hike!
If not, be rest assured of a great job in another organization!

90. We all are so busy fulfilling our commitments! We only miss the one we made to god.
To be what we are born to be & give to the world what we are here to give!


91. Sex is just a physical expression of the love & bonding between 2 people!

92. Good Individuals/teams execute plans;Champions execute flawlessly!

93. Love is running your hand through her hair to straighten it (when it’s all in a mess due to a long tiring drive) without letting her know it!

94. Love is when you do good to someone else knowing well he/she may take undue advantage of your goodness. Coz what counts ultimately is not the advantage that he/she takes but where he/she ends up with that in life, even if that means they are ahead of you!

95. Mentors & Coaches always help build great individuals, teams, organizations & nations!

96. In our conquest to earn a living; we take the living away!

97. Bad Habits are like viruses; they spread through the system thick & fast!
Good Habits are like nectar, once in they main their flavor forever!

98. As a kid, I always loved gems & their colors - Only to be amazed to find they resemble my friends & their personalities as I grew up!

99. Can the impact of emotions & relationships on productivity & performance at work & in life be explained in a scientific or mathematical equation?

100. Apologizing is a quality irrelevant in the corporate scenario & extinct in the current human race!

101. If I, Id & Ego weren’t so prevalent today, humanity & human race would have been!

102. Sometimes in life, it is scary to look back - especially when you know you have treaded the wrong path. That U-turn, the long way back is the only way & you know it very well at the back of your mind. It’s gonna be tough, challenging, painful & filled with self doubt or fear till you see the highway again. But then it won’t matter how long & far you walked the wrong path. When & how you eventually decided to take the right one, would!

103. The biggest battle of our life is not with the outside world & our peers. It’s within us - between our thoughts & our actions. The ‘I’ we are & the ‘I’ we want to become! Ultimately it does not matter if you have beaten your outside world. What does matter is - “If you have won over yourself”

104. When you do for others without thinking what’s in it for you, you get back without asking & even more than you wished to!

105. Being nice & pleasant with people inspite of having unpleasant experiences with them, is even more gratifying!

106. U can’t be the messenger of love & the recipient at the same time!
It’s just that I choose to be the messenger - always!

107. Life has a strange way of rewarding you for your good deeds, they may not be in the form you expected but nevertheless they are important & essential!

108. Every heart (person) we meet needs to be touched, coz he/she is into our life coz god felt they would be better off with us around!

109. Is an action done with an expectation of a reciprocal action justified?

110. Love is the only thing we live for & die with!

111. Some Relationships don't have a name & if you try to name them, they don't stay the same ever again!

112. Maturity is the ability to handle unexpected situations & events without having experienced them before!

113. Playing to lose is fun, if the person against whom you are playing is more important that the prize you are playing for!

114. Love is sharing a blanket on a winter evening, cuddling her up to you & then the blanket over so she gets more warmth than you & sipping tea/coffee with the mug in her hands :)

115. Love is not having to say "I Love you"!

116. Love is just being by her side, knowing well she needs you & is not expressing it; all this when you have no hope of having her in your life ever again!

117. Respect Women!
They don’t correct you, they just perfect you!
They don’t compete you, they just complete you!

118. Life's battles don't have scores; The ones which have scores don't matter!

119. If there is someone you should care most about, it’s you! Period.

120. If we are doing things that people want us to do & it hurts us, those people don’t matter.

121. The problem with the current human race is people try to find flaws & weaknesses in others than look for qualities & goodness!

122. It’s not the greatness in skills or knowledge but the passion in the heart which gives best productivity & results!

123. Almost always, the value of an individual is recognized & appreciated in his/her absence.

124. Diplomacy is when you lick the ass & kick the butt of the same person at the same time.

125. I am amazed, that in the conquest to fulfill commitment made to others, people forget to fulfill the one they made to themselves!

126. Distances look pretty short when the efforts are channelized & passion unplugged!

127. Attempting the impossible is what distinguishes the champions from the legends!

128. People who can’t dare to enter politics normally take a shot at it in corporate!

129. Today’s Indian is not in a dilemma of too many challenges set by others, just the one that they themselves don’t have.

130. If you have one reason to live, you won’t die! God just won’t let you!

131. Every morning you have to get up with 1 big reason to live your day & every night you ought to sleep peacefully knowing well you lived it to the fullest!

132. When Life says “No” to your most important questions;
you value “Yes” to the less important ones.

133. Life’s Problems Don’t Necessarily come with solutions, but they definitely come with new insights & avenues - most of which we either fail to comprehend or explore!

134. When you get a “No” from people you love most;
you value saying “Yes” to those who u don’t love too.

135. The way to bail out of bad times is do good deeds;If you still don’t, do great deeds!

136. A fist is made up of all fingers, but it derives its strength from the palm.

137. "The only thing that stops people from progressing is lack of intent"

138. Life is sticking to the battle when you are hardest hit;
Only for life to come back & say here’s a person I can’t ever beat!

139. What's in a name? I would rather keep my intent intact than my name!

140. Ego kills love & relationships; musters hatred & loneliness!

141. Love wins more lives than bullets take; just the process is a little longer!

142. The only solution to negativity is extreme positivity!

143. Don't reason everything life gives you;
At the same time don't take a reason for all that life gives you either!

144. It's not the presence of problems, absence of solutions worries me!

145. Influencing without capability & knowledge is manipulating!

146. In Winning & Learning, I always choose learning!

147. You do your best when you give up the fear of Failure, an attachment to your image & the consciousness of what people would think about you!

148. Love is a silent prayer to god, asking for an early relief from pain for your loved ones during their last moments; even if it means they would not be around & you would have a bigger void to fill all your life!

149. Hold a hand, show a way, touch a heart or make a difference!
Else, you will never get to know how many have walked all alone when they needed you the most!

150. No matter how bad a relationship is, with genuine effort & some compromise it can be made better!

151. 3 Things never fail - Honest Character, Good Intentions & Genuine Efforts!

152. Life is a realisation that one day everything would be over, but living with a hope that it will exist forever & trying to make it better everyday!

153. Life is a pause, a very long pause that god took to see - how you do, what he already planned for you!

154. People change with times, why then are they so upset about times changing?

155. Mothers are perfect - becoz they adapt to parents, in-laws, husband & children however their nature is & nurture them all to be their best!

156. Love is holding your mom or dad's hand as you walk, not coz you are too young but coz they just grew old enough!

157. Love bridges gaps between hearts faster than flights cover distance between cities!

158. Last night I had a conversation with God.

 I : "God, I have a problem"
 God : "I know my son, I too have lots of problems & I created you to take care of a few of them knowing very well you can! Now son, tell me what's your problem"

159. Life is a moment god gave us to correct the imperfections he left the world with!

160. If Winning is everything, what is Living?

161. Winning is not just achieving the final milestone, it is crossing every hurdle on the way!

162. Even a sperm makes a difference, the intent matters!

163. A Corruption free "India" is possible only when we start to have a Corruption free "I, Me, We & Us"

164. If everything happened the way we wished, it would not be called "Life"

165. Life is beautiful if you haven't experienced love; if you have it is divine!

166. I will always chase my dreams! It will hurt having to see them shattered, if they do;
But I won't ever regret not having chased them!

167. During bad times stay the same person;Good times will return;
After all good times too love the company of good people!

168. Every “No” doesn’t mean hatred or rejection, just like Every “Yes” doesn’t mean acceptance or Love!

169. We humans have an inherent ability to seek problems in people than seek people for problems (solutions)!

170. Make people fall in love with themselves & they have no choice but to fall in love with you!!

171. Pursue a passion, interest or hobby that connects you so well with yourself, that nothing else in the world would matter & it wouldn't !!

172. People are bound by their own circumstances when they are rude, sarcastic or egoistic.

Allow them their space. In due time they will realize they hurt themselves & their own credibility.

173. Great relationships just like career & finances are built with time & effort, they don't happen!

174. In a world of fast fixes & instant mixes, relationships will cease to exist unless you have a secret formula of love & care!

175.  Changing Watsapp or Facebook display pics and status rarely change real life picture & status. 

176. Often people post public messages for private status & private messages for public status.

Love will find its way - It always does!

Right from my childhood, I believed the 3 basic needs of a human being are “Food, Clothing & Shelter”. Till one day, when my conscience challenged me to think there is a 4th, which I feel could be the most important “Love”. How else can one explain people who have excellent, well paid jobs that allow them to live in spacial condominiums, frequent lavish restaurants & wear the best brands & yet are unhappy?

What about recognition, appreciation, standard of living & social circle – All of this for me; takes the base reason as a necessity to be loved by people with us & around us. Inspite of having illustrious careers, holding distinguished posts in offices & a large network of professional & personal friends why then would people have bad relationships or unhappy families? The worst is there are cases of people committing suicide just because they don’t find enough love in a lifetime.

It’s sad that we sometimes tradeoff our relationships for our professional careers & how much ever we may want to ignore it or disagree – It’s true. We all have done it in some way or the other. From the tradeoffs it’s evident that the beauty of the relationship, the love in it withers away & then it takes years to recreate what we lose in seconds or minutes.Whether love is more important than the other 3, I leave it for the readers to decide as it differs from individual to individual.

“Love” – Inexplicable one word – Everyone finds it, yet most of them struggle to understand & explain it. And the very few people who hear the explanations can’t digest it. For me - love is that first long walk with your father, a hug for your mother when she is weighed down by her daily chores, a song for your little sister when she is sleepless, holding the hands of your ailing grandparents & cajoling them or the grip on your finger by your first born child.
It is a beautiful feeling that allows you to experience your inner self & explore the wishes of the mind to the fullest. It’s about wanting to make someone feel special just like you do. But most importantly, Love is an emotion, not a relation. We can experience love in different forms in different relationships – With parents, siblings, peers, friends, kids & obviously the one special person who we all call “Love”.

Honestly for me, Life is incomplete without all these relationships. Also, no relationship exists or is complete without love in it. Every relationship has its own standing in our life & is instrumental in nurturing & developing us. So, it’s necessary that we experience love from all these relationships & in every way we can. It’s also equally important for us to impart the same unconditional love to those who miss it – Believe Me, this is the easiest thing we can do for another person & the one that takes the least effort.

With regards to love, let me categorize people into 3 groups. Here I make an assumption “Most of the readers would have experienced parental, siblings, peer & friends love. Not too sure all of them have been married, have kids so would have experienced kids love or found that very special person they have always dreamt of”

People who have cherished love in all relationships including the most special one& are happy – I am sure they would all have reached “Cloud 9” at some point & I don’t have to explain them anymore what love means

People who have experienced love in most relationships & are happy – but are yet to meet the special person in their life. I wish for all of them & I hope the very best so that they experience the “Cloud 9” feeling pretty soon. It’s exciting & you would not believe, you actually do things you never expected yourself to .How so ever stupid they might seem, u still enjoy it & the more you want to do it.

People who have experienced love in all relationships but are currently experiencing bitterness/sourness in any one of them.
Every relationship is just like a product & has a shelf life of its own – Sounds strange but it’s true. We generally notice, the more we know a person the less we want to know more of him/her. We spend lesser time with some friends whom we have been so close to earlier & we start spending more time with friends whom we don’t know. That’s probably ones of the reasons that partners feel their better halves don’t love them any more after a passage of time. Parents feel their children don’t love them any more when their children start spending more time away from home with peers/friends. At certain stages of life, some relationships become less important than the other ones. The unexplored ones take centre stage & the matured ones take a back seat. Surprisingly it’s not the relationship or the love; it’s our thoughts for that person which takes a back seat.

So, how do you rekindle love in your broken/to be broken relationships? The base of love in any relationship is self love followed by love for the other person. When people say love left them, it actually means they either have stopped loving themselves or don’t love themselves as much as they did before. Relationships never get stale; it’s our thoughts that allow them to. People & relationships need to be nurtured, sometimes we just don’t want to spend enough time on them – we take them for granted. When a product fails, we re-engineer it. We come with newer versions or new features to make it a far better product. In the same manner, we need to find new ways to rekindle the love that once was very special to us with that particular person. We all want to love someone & be loved in return, that is our basic nature & there is no reason why we can’t make it work again if it has happened before. In fact, there is no relationship where love is lost & can’t be the same again.Fall in love with yourself all over once again – Follow what your heart says, follow your dreams, ignite that passion you gave up once again & ensure you pursue it, make sure you do everything that makes you feel good about yourself & now look at those people, the relationships you at one point of time thought were bad & useless. I am sure things would look different this time round. Now, start doing those little things that once excited you & the other person. Give small gifts, tokens of love, spend time together, enjoy each other’s company, and make them feel wanted, important & special once again. Say “I love you” as often as you can. People so seldom say I love you and then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean I know you'll never go, only that I wish you didn't have to.” Give love in that tough relationship one more chance I am sure it would work wonders. Love always does!

“God's Whispering, Life’s calling – But Who's listening?”

One night I woke up with a sudden feeling of uneasiness & restlessness. It was as if I was I jolted with a strong force. I could feel a weary body & a heavy head, full of questions, expecting me to answer at that very moment. Why at this point of time?

As I sat on my bed, fully drenched & all confused, I looked around & was bewildered to find no one around. I was perplexed – who was asking me all these questions & amongst all those surviving on planet earth – why me? That too, at this point of time - 2.35 AM?

It felt as though time would stand still, it just wouldn’t move, it would wait for eternity till I answered the query that all the questions led me to – “What is the purpose of your life? What is your Life’s Calling?”

I was all but 25 years of age, just passed out of college, working with a great Indian MNC, an IT Services firm, life looked complete & content. Daily work routine, hanging out with friends on weekends, pursuing hobbies & collecting my pay cheque at the end of every month – all looked easy & cozy. Life was calm, peaceful & serene.

Why this sudden jolt? Just as every 20 odd year old would, I went asking all my friends the very same question that posed me painful days & sleepless nights “What is the purpose of your Life? What is your Life’s Calling?”

Probably I had given all of them just another topic to mock about. But none of them seemed to have an answer. This added to my urge &I was determined to dwelve deeper & decipher that very purpose – the Calling of My Life for which I was born.

So, what is this “Life’s Calling & Purpose” all about? Aren’t we already doing enough of what we are supposed to? Our Studies, Work, Careers, Financials, Responsibilities towards parents, sibling, children? Aren’t we solving many purposes already? We are already burdened & feel we can’t take any more. What more purposes do you want to use to serve? How many more callings do we have to adhere to? Sometimes, we tend to feel that all we have to our Purpose/Calling in lives is the jobs we do & the time we spend onto doing something for the others. Blatant as the answer may seem - It isn’t so. It may be a part of our Purpose/Calling, but it surely isn’t the purpose/calling in itself.

Life’s Purpose or Calling simply defined is a vocation or profession. But in reality, it is about living with the conviction that what we do matters to others, we make a difference & that because of our existence others have breathed an easier life.

God created us & he has a purpose for each one of us. God has gifted all of us with different skills, talents & passion. We are all unique & with a reason. It is for us to find the unique quality, the purpose & lead a life that makes a difference. It is for us to discover god’s purpose & honour it.
So, how do we find this life’s Purpose/Calling?

Ask yourself some simple questions, the answers of which could lead you to it
What is your personal background?
What are your abilities/capabilities?
What according to you is god’s gift (Unique Skill/Talent) to you?
What according to you is your biggest passion?
What is it that you can do to spread love & happiness or make a difference to the people around?

God speaks to us, through us, through our own thoughts. Most of the times; when we are indecisive or feel lost; god leads us to the right path & in the right direction
Even during the smooth times, he keeps whispering to make us realize there’s more to life- to ensure we venture out to do what he wants us to. Circumstances, Conditions & Events are all incidental – they are just a means to achieve what we set out for. All that matters is U & the purpose/calling within U & it does matter – May be not for us but for those who need us.

Surprisingly not all of us adhere or reciprocate to gods whispers/Life’s Calls. Most of us don’t understand them, many of us ignore them & a handful of us tread the path which was chosen for us until one day when god awakens us & leads us to do what he wants us to do - the purpose with which he created us.

There is no age when you awaken to your life’s purpose or calling – some of us realize it in the early stages of our life while the others at a later point of time. What matters in the end though is that we ought to make a difference to the world around us.

We all live a life of our purpose, & that the purpose of our life is not just to live!

God’s whispering, Life’s calling – But are we listening?