Right from my childhood, I believed the 3 basic needs of a human being are “Food, Clothing & Shelter”. Till one day, when my conscience challenged me to think there is a 4th, which I feel could be the most important “Love”. How else can one explain people who have excellent, well paid jobs that allow them to live in spacial condominiums, frequent lavish restaurants & wear the best brands & yet are unhappy?
What about recognition, appreciation, standard of living & social circle – All of this for me; takes the base reason as a necessity to be loved by people with us & around us. Inspite of having illustrious careers, holding distinguished posts in offices & a large network of professional & personal friends why then would people have bad relationships or unhappy families? The worst is there are cases of people committing suicide just because they don’t find enough love in a lifetime.
It’s sad that we sometimes tradeoff our relationships for our professional careers & how much ever we may want to ignore it or disagree – It’s true. We all have done it in some way or the other. From the tradeoffs it’s evident that the beauty of the relationship, the love in it withers away & then it takes years to recreate what we lose in seconds or minutes.Whether love is more important than the other 3, I leave it for the readers to decide as it differs from individual to individual.
“Love” – Inexplicable one word – Everyone finds it, yet most of them struggle to understand & explain it. And the very few people who hear the explanations can’t digest it. For me - love is that first long walk with your father, a hug for your mother when she is weighed down by her daily chores, a song for your little sister when she is sleepless, holding the hands of your ailing grandparents & cajoling them or the grip on your finger by your first born child.
It is a beautiful feeling that allows you to experience your inner self & explore the wishes of the mind to the fullest. It’s about wanting to make someone feel special just like you do. But most importantly, Love is an emotion, not a relation. We can experience love in different forms in different relationships – With parents, siblings, peers, friends, kids & obviously the one special person who we all call “Love”.
Honestly for me, Life is incomplete without all these relationships. Also, no relationship exists or is complete without love in it. Every relationship has its own standing in our life & is instrumental in nurturing & developing us. So, it’s necessary that we experience love from all these relationships & in every way we can. It’s also equally important for us to impart the same unconditional love to those who miss it – Believe Me, this is the easiest thing we can do for another person & the one that takes the least effort.
With regards to love, let me categorize people into 3 groups. Here I make an assumption “Most of the readers would have experienced parental, siblings, peer & friends love. Not too sure all of them have been married, have kids so would have experienced kids love or found that very special person they have always dreamt of”
People who have cherished love in all relationships including the most special one& are happy – I am sure they would all have reached “Cloud 9” at some point & I don’t have to explain them anymore what love means
People who have experienced love in most relationships & are happy – but are yet to meet the special person in their life. I wish for all of them & I hope the very best so that they experience the “Cloud 9” feeling pretty soon. It’s exciting & you would not believe, you actually do things you never expected yourself to .How so ever stupid they might seem, u still enjoy it & the more you want to do it.
People who have experienced love in all relationships but are currently experiencing bitterness/sourness in any one of them.
Every relationship is just like a product & has a shelf life of its own – Sounds strange but it’s true. We generally notice, the more we know a person the less we want to know more of him/her. We spend lesser time with some friends whom we have been so close to earlier & we start spending more time with friends whom we don’t know. That’s probably ones of the reasons that partners feel their better halves don’t love them any more after a passage of time. Parents feel their children don’t love them any more when their children start spending more time away from home with peers/friends. At certain stages of life, some relationships become less important than the other ones. The unexplored ones take centre stage & the matured ones take a back seat. Surprisingly it’s not the relationship or the love; it’s our thoughts for that person which takes a back seat.
So, how do you rekindle love in your broken/to be broken relationships? The base of love in any relationship is self love followed by love for the other person. When people say love left them, it actually means they either have stopped loving themselves or don’t love themselves as much as they did before. Relationships never get stale; it’s our thoughts that allow them to. People & relationships need to be nurtured, sometimes we just don’t want to spend enough time on them – we take them for granted. When a product fails, we re-engineer it. We come with newer versions or new features to make it a far better product. In the same manner, we need to find new ways to rekindle the love that once was very special to us with that particular person. We all want to love someone & be loved in return, that is our basic nature & there is no reason why we can’t make it work again if it has happened before. In fact, there is no relationship where love is lost & can’t be the same again.Fall in love with yourself all over once again – Follow what your heart says, follow your dreams, ignite that passion you gave up once again & ensure you pursue it, make sure you do everything that makes you feel good about yourself & now look at those people, the relationships you at one point of time thought were bad & useless. I am sure things would look different this time round. Now, start doing those little things that once excited you & the other person. Give small gifts, tokens of love, spend time together, enjoy each other’s company, and make them feel wanted, important & special once again. Say “I love you” as often as you can. People so seldom say I love you and then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean I know you'll never go, only that I wish you didn't have to.” Give love in that tough relationship one more chance I am sure it would work wonders. Love always does!
Monday 28 July 2008
“God's Whispering, Life’s calling – But Who's listening?”
One night I woke up with a sudden feeling of uneasiness & restlessness. It was as if I was I jolted with a strong force. I could feel a weary body & a heavy head, full of questions, expecting me to answer at that very moment. Why at this point of time?
As I sat on my bed, fully drenched & all confused, I looked around & was bewildered to find no one around. I was perplexed – who was asking me all these questions & amongst all those surviving on planet earth – why me? That too, at this point of time - 2.35 AM?
It felt as though time would stand still, it just wouldn’t move, it would wait for eternity till I answered the query that all the questions led me to – “What is the purpose of your life? What is your Life’s Calling?”
I was all but 25 years of age, just passed out of college, working with a great Indian MNC, an IT Services firm, life looked complete & content. Daily work routine, hanging out with friends on weekends, pursuing hobbies & collecting my pay cheque at the end of every month – all looked easy & cozy. Life was calm, peaceful & serene.
Why this sudden jolt? Just as every 20 odd year old would, I went asking all my friends the very same question that posed me painful days & sleepless nights “What is the purpose of your Life? What is your Life’s Calling?”
Probably I had given all of them just another topic to mock about. But none of them seemed to have an answer. This added to my urge &I was determined to dwelve deeper & decipher that very purpose – the Calling of My Life for which I was born.
So, what is this “Life’s Calling & Purpose” all about? Aren’t we already doing enough of what we are supposed to? Our Studies, Work, Careers, Financials, Responsibilities towards parents, sibling, children? Aren’t we solving many purposes already? We are already burdened & feel we can’t take any more. What more purposes do you want to use to serve? How many more callings do we have to adhere to? Sometimes, we tend to feel that all we have to our Purpose/Calling in lives is the jobs we do & the time we spend onto doing something for the others. Blatant as the answer may seem - It isn’t so. It may be a part of our Purpose/Calling, but it surely isn’t the purpose/calling in itself.
Life’s Purpose or Calling simply defined is a vocation or profession. But in reality, it is about living with the conviction that what we do matters to others, we make a difference & that because of our existence others have breathed an easier life.
God created us & he has a purpose for each one of us. God has gifted all of us with different skills, talents & passion. We are all unique & with a reason. It is for us to find the unique quality, the purpose & lead a life that makes a difference. It is for us to discover god’s purpose & honour it.
So, how do we find this life’s Purpose/Calling?
Ask yourself some simple questions, the answers of which could lead you to it
What is your personal background?
What are your abilities/capabilities?
What according to you is god’s gift (Unique Skill/Talent) to you?
What according to you is your biggest passion?
What is it that you can do to spread love & happiness or make a difference to the people around?
God speaks to us, through us, through our own thoughts. Most of the times; when we are indecisive or feel lost; god leads us to the right path & in the right direction
Even during the smooth times, he keeps whispering to make us realize there’s more to life- to ensure we venture out to do what he wants us to. Circumstances, Conditions & Events are all incidental – they are just a means to achieve what we set out for. All that matters is U & the purpose/calling within U & it does matter – May be not for us but for those who need us.
Surprisingly not all of us adhere or reciprocate to gods whispers/Life’s Calls. Most of us don’t understand them, many of us ignore them & a handful of us tread the path which was chosen for us until one day when god awakens us & leads us to do what he wants us to do - the purpose with which he created us.
There is no age when you awaken to your life’s purpose or calling – some of us realize it in the early stages of our life while the others at a later point of time. What matters in the end though is that we ought to make a difference to the world around us.
We all live a life of our purpose, & that the purpose of our life is not just to live!
God’s whispering, Life’s calling – But are we listening?
As I sat on my bed, fully drenched & all confused, I looked around & was bewildered to find no one around. I was perplexed – who was asking me all these questions & amongst all those surviving on planet earth – why me? That too, at this point of time - 2.35 AM?
It felt as though time would stand still, it just wouldn’t move, it would wait for eternity till I answered the query that all the questions led me to – “What is the purpose of your life? What is your Life’s Calling?”
I was all but 25 years of age, just passed out of college, working with a great Indian MNC, an IT Services firm, life looked complete & content. Daily work routine, hanging out with friends on weekends, pursuing hobbies & collecting my pay cheque at the end of every month – all looked easy & cozy. Life was calm, peaceful & serene.
Why this sudden jolt? Just as every 20 odd year old would, I went asking all my friends the very same question that posed me painful days & sleepless nights “What is the purpose of your Life? What is your Life’s Calling?”
Probably I had given all of them just another topic to mock about. But none of them seemed to have an answer. This added to my urge &I was determined to dwelve deeper & decipher that very purpose – the Calling of My Life for which I was born.
So, what is this “Life’s Calling & Purpose” all about? Aren’t we already doing enough of what we are supposed to? Our Studies, Work, Careers, Financials, Responsibilities towards parents, sibling, children? Aren’t we solving many purposes already? We are already burdened & feel we can’t take any more. What more purposes do you want to use to serve? How many more callings do we have to adhere to? Sometimes, we tend to feel that all we have to our Purpose/Calling in lives is the jobs we do & the time we spend onto doing something for the others. Blatant as the answer may seem - It isn’t so. It may be a part of our Purpose/Calling, but it surely isn’t the purpose/calling in itself.
Life’s Purpose or Calling simply defined is a vocation or profession. But in reality, it is about living with the conviction that what we do matters to others, we make a difference & that because of our existence others have breathed an easier life.
God created us & he has a purpose for each one of us. God has gifted all of us with different skills, talents & passion. We are all unique & with a reason. It is for us to find the unique quality, the purpose & lead a life that makes a difference. It is for us to discover god’s purpose & honour it.
So, how do we find this life’s Purpose/Calling?
Ask yourself some simple questions, the answers of which could lead you to it
What is your personal background?
What are your abilities/capabilities?
What according to you is god’s gift (Unique Skill/Talent) to you?
What according to you is your biggest passion?
What is it that you can do to spread love & happiness or make a difference to the people around?
God speaks to us, through us, through our own thoughts. Most of the times; when we are indecisive or feel lost; god leads us to the right path & in the right direction
Even during the smooth times, he keeps whispering to make us realize there’s more to life- to ensure we venture out to do what he wants us to. Circumstances, Conditions & Events are all incidental – they are just a means to achieve what we set out for. All that matters is U & the purpose/calling within U & it does matter – May be not for us but for those who need us.
Surprisingly not all of us adhere or reciprocate to gods whispers/Life’s Calls. Most of us don’t understand them, many of us ignore them & a handful of us tread the path which was chosen for us until one day when god awakens us & leads us to do what he wants us to do - the purpose with which he created us.
There is no age when you awaken to your life’s purpose or calling – some of us realize it in the early stages of our life while the others at a later point of time. What matters in the end though is that we ought to make a difference to the world around us.
We all live a life of our purpose, & that the purpose of our life is not just to live!
God’s whispering, Life’s calling – But are we listening?
Monday 14 July 2008
Spend time with yourself - Nurture your thoughts!
Today’s world is fiercely competitive. Every moment that we spend with and for ourselves counts. Not only are we competing with others but also with ourselves to go that extra mile and have an edge. Personal life and professional careers run parallelly and both take a toll on the mind and body, the end result is we do not have time for ourselves. Those moments when we can talk to ourselves, spend time with nature, get time for our passion, our favourite sport, moments of silence when we can capture our thoughts, nurture them and build on them.
We get up everyday or go to bed every night thinking about our mails, items in the inbox, priorities that need to adhered to first thing in the morning once you reach office. Categorizing work into – Urgent and Important or To Be done by Self and To be delegated to others. Those important meetings, their minutes and the action points, sorting and organizing the in and out tray or the sent items so on and so forth. This cycle repeats daily.
Then comes the weekend, where again, we catch up with the pending work or get into action points for improving our performance at work in office – Either learning the intricacies of excel sheets, organizing outlook, learning new tools or automating processes, enhancing presentation skills or improving inter-personal skills and people management.
If not all this, we are looking after our family – old ones, parents, kids – they too need time from us. Well in this hit and run schedule, we forget that days, weeks, months and some times years pass by and you haven’t given time to your highest priority – “You” – it never even crosses our mind that we ignore ourselves, our health, hobbies, passion, that little craving to be a kid, to go back to school or college, catch up with old friends. The heart keeps reminding but the mind has no option but to follow the “work clock”
If we can schedule every day or every hour of the day with action items of tasks to be done in office, I am sure we can schedule an hour every day for exercising and an hour everyday alone (with only you) when there is no one to buzz you, disturb you or distort your thoughts. That means 2 out of 24 hours every day – that’s all we need for self realization, self actualization and I am sure we all know at the back of the mind that its needed – It’s just that we do not take that first step towards it and hence it never happens. Try doing this and recognize the new you – the difference it makes to you.
Our mind is always thinking, perceiving, analyzing and interpreting – these are our thoughts. You would be astonished to understand the questions of your mind and the answers it itself gives. They provide new avenues, horizons and dimensions – A world probably you have never dreamt of. During our busy schedules we never let these thoughts mature. It is very important that we give our mind and thoughts enough time and space to grow, nurture them and build them – they help us strengthen our beliefs, feelings, our character and form the base of the pyramid on which our personal lives and professional careers hinge.
Take those 2 extra hours out of your obsessed work schedule and the intense competition. Give yourself the freedom, the feeling of a high – Love the way you feel – I am very sure it will make a difference to the way you spend the other 22 hours – It will change the way you look at and live life. So here’s wishing a “happy you” – DO IT and DO IT NOW!
We get up everyday or go to bed every night thinking about our mails, items in the inbox, priorities that need to adhered to first thing in the morning once you reach office. Categorizing work into – Urgent and Important or To Be done by Self and To be delegated to others. Those important meetings, their minutes and the action points, sorting and organizing the in and out tray or the sent items so on and so forth. This cycle repeats daily.
Then comes the weekend, where again, we catch up with the pending work or get into action points for improving our performance at work in office – Either learning the intricacies of excel sheets, organizing outlook, learning new tools or automating processes, enhancing presentation skills or improving inter-personal skills and people management.
If not all this, we are looking after our family – old ones, parents, kids – they too need time from us. Well in this hit and run schedule, we forget that days, weeks, months and some times years pass by and you haven’t given time to your highest priority – “You” – it never even crosses our mind that we ignore ourselves, our health, hobbies, passion, that little craving to be a kid, to go back to school or college, catch up with old friends. The heart keeps reminding but the mind has no option but to follow the “work clock”
If we can schedule every day or every hour of the day with action items of tasks to be done in office, I am sure we can schedule an hour every day for exercising and an hour everyday alone (with only you) when there is no one to buzz you, disturb you or distort your thoughts. That means 2 out of 24 hours every day – that’s all we need for self realization, self actualization and I am sure we all know at the back of the mind that its needed – It’s just that we do not take that first step towards it and hence it never happens. Try doing this and recognize the new you – the difference it makes to you.
Our mind is always thinking, perceiving, analyzing and interpreting – these are our thoughts. You would be astonished to understand the questions of your mind and the answers it itself gives. They provide new avenues, horizons and dimensions – A world probably you have never dreamt of. During our busy schedules we never let these thoughts mature. It is very important that we give our mind and thoughts enough time and space to grow, nurture them and build them – they help us strengthen our beliefs, feelings, our character and form the base of the pyramid on which our personal lives and professional careers hinge.
Take those 2 extra hours out of your obsessed work schedule and the intense competition. Give yourself the freedom, the feeling of a high – Love the way you feel – I am very sure it will make a difference to the way you spend the other 22 hours – It will change the way you look at and live life. So here’s wishing a “happy you” – DO IT and DO IT NOW!
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