Love will find its way - It always does!

Right from my childhood, I believed the 3 basic needs of a human being are “Food, Clothing & Shelter”. Till one day, when my conscience challenged me to think there is a 4th, which I feel could be the most important “Love”. How else can one explain people who have excellent, well paid jobs that allow them to live in spacial condominiums, frequent lavish restaurants & wear the best brands & yet are unhappy?

What about recognition, appreciation, standard of living & social circle – All of this for me; takes the base reason as a necessity to be loved by people with us & around us. Inspite of having illustrious careers, holding distinguished posts in offices & a large network of professional & personal friends why then would people have bad relationships or unhappy families? The worst is there are cases of people committing suicide just because they don’t find enough love in a lifetime.

It’s sad that we sometimes tradeoff our relationships for our professional careers & how much ever we may want to ignore it or disagree – It’s true. We all have done it in some way or the other. From the tradeoffs it’s evident that the beauty of the relationship, the love in it withers away & then it takes years to recreate what we lose in seconds or minutes.Whether love is more important than the other 3, I leave it for the readers to decide as it differs from individual to individual.

“Love” – Inexplicable one word – Everyone finds it, yet most of them struggle to understand & explain it. And the very few people who hear the explanations can’t digest it. For me - love is that first long walk with your father, a hug for your mother when she is weighed down by her daily chores, a song for your little sister when she is sleepless, holding the hands of your ailing grandparents & cajoling them or the grip on your finger by your first born child.
It is a beautiful feeling that allows you to experience your inner self & explore the wishes of the mind to the fullest. It’s about wanting to make someone feel special just like you do. But most importantly, Love is an emotion, not a relation. We can experience love in different forms in different relationships – With parents, siblings, peers, friends, kids & obviously the one special person who we all call “Love”.

Honestly for me, Life is incomplete without all these relationships. Also, no relationship exists or is complete without love in it. Every relationship has its own standing in our life & is instrumental in nurturing & developing us. So, it’s necessary that we experience love from all these relationships & in every way we can. It’s also equally important for us to impart the same unconditional love to those who miss it – Believe Me, this is the easiest thing we can do for another person & the one that takes the least effort.

With regards to love, let me categorize people into 3 groups. Here I make an assumption “Most of the readers would have experienced parental, siblings, peer & friends love. Not too sure all of them have been married, have kids so would have experienced kids love or found that very special person they have always dreamt of”

People who have cherished love in all relationships including the most special one& are happy – I am sure they would all have reached “Cloud 9” at some point & I don’t have to explain them anymore what love means

People who have experienced love in most relationships & are happy – but are yet to meet the special person in their life. I wish for all of them & I hope the very best so that they experience the “Cloud 9” feeling pretty soon. It’s exciting & you would not believe, you actually do things you never expected yourself to .How so ever stupid they might seem, u still enjoy it & the more you want to do it.

People who have experienced love in all relationships but are currently experiencing bitterness/sourness in any one of them.
Every relationship is just like a product & has a shelf life of its own – Sounds strange but it’s true. We generally notice, the more we know a person the less we want to know more of him/her. We spend lesser time with some friends whom we have been so close to earlier & we start spending more time with friends whom we don’t know. That’s probably ones of the reasons that partners feel their better halves don’t love them any more after a passage of time. Parents feel their children don’t love them any more when their children start spending more time away from home with peers/friends. At certain stages of life, some relationships become less important than the other ones. The unexplored ones take centre stage & the matured ones take a back seat. Surprisingly it’s not the relationship or the love; it’s our thoughts for that person which takes a back seat.

So, how do you rekindle love in your broken/to be broken relationships? The base of love in any relationship is self love followed by love for the other person. When people say love left them, it actually means they either have stopped loving themselves or don’t love themselves as much as they did before. Relationships never get stale; it’s our thoughts that allow them to. People & relationships need to be nurtured, sometimes we just don’t want to spend enough time on them – we take them for granted. When a product fails, we re-engineer it. We come with newer versions or new features to make it a far better product. In the same manner, we need to find new ways to rekindle the love that once was very special to us with that particular person. We all want to love someone & be loved in return, that is our basic nature & there is no reason why we can’t make it work again if it has happened before. In fact, there is no relationship where love is lost & can’t be the same again.Fall in love with yourself all over once again – Follow what your heart says, follow your dreams, ignite that passion you gave up once again & ensure you pursue it, make sure you do everything that makes you feel good about yourself & now look at those people, the relationships you at one point of time thought were bad & useless. I am sure things would look different this time round. Now, start doing those little things that once excited you & the other person. Give small gifts, tokens of love, spend time together, enjoy each other’s company, and make them feel wanted, important & special once again. Say “I love you” as often as you can. People so seldom say I love you and then it's either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean I know you'll never go, only that I wish you didn't have to.” Give love in that tough relationship one more chance I am sure it would work wonders. Love always does!